its not stalking. its research.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
