i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
