I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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