fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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