You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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