I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
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he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
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All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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