i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I've blown a few things in my day
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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