She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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