I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
