last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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