I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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