Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize