this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
