What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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