the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize