She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
