I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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