Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize