yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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