Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
