My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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