are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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