I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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