My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
