Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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