I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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