And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize