I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
