Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
