I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
