I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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