There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
zippers are such a cool invention
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
