yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
