so that wasnt chicken after all
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
