i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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