i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I supernannyed him into submission
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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