It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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