butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
