I just gift wrapped bread.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
