After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
