is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
