I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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