Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
