Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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