Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
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judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
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Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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