she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
