I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
