A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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