I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
