My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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