the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
