I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
