its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
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Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
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You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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