Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
