Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
