i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
