Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
This is the high leading the old right now
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
