thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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