Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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