YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
