She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
