he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
