What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
