Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
