i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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