Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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